You don't mind if I share something God is showing me, do you?
Good....because I'm thinking this may get kinda long. Onward, ho!

    I've always been a pretty flexible, roll-with-the-punches/go-with-the-flow kind of person, good at taking the crazy ups and downs of life with the optimistic view that it's all an adventure.
I never, ever would have called myself a control freak. Until recently, that is. Thankfully, God knows better.
He's been showing me some not-so-pleasant things deeply rooted in my heart, including a desire for control.
I like feeling like I have at least some measure of control over my time, the way people see me, the people I'm with, the situations I'm in, etc. God has been gently showing me how wrong this is. He is in control of everything (duh!), whether I acknowledge it or not...whether I like it or not.

I was talking with my sister last night, and we were exchanging panicked sentiments at the fact that today is June 1st, making training just over a week away.
As I prepared for bed, I realized that one of the main reasons I'm feeling so scared/panicked/unprepared for this summer is because I can't control it. Because when I chose to use my summer in these ministries, I was surrendering my 'control' over to God, trusting that He is going to work in and through me however He chooses.
But I've been trying to hang on to the feeling that I'm still in charge here, not really wanting to surrender it all because I might not like what God does, because it might be hard.

I can't control who I'll be rooming with for 2 weeks at training.
I can't control what challenges will be thrown at me during the advanced classes I'll be taking.
I can't control how others will think of or treat me.
I can't control who I'll be teaching in front of.
I can't control who my team will be in the twin cities.

The list goes on. And, really, that's a good thing. Because if I were in charge here, things would be pretty easy. I would be with people who like me, people who I'm comfortable with. I would only need to teach in front of the kids--not my peers. I probably wouldn't need to do anything scary or embarrassing. So it would be simple, comfortable. But that isn't how we grow.
God is going to put me with people who will present challenges: people who I don't know well and therefore am not comfortable with. People who may not like me, or who I may not like. People who I can serve, encourage, and bless. He's going to put me in situations that will be difficult. Situations that may be scary and uncomfortable. Situations that will stretch my comfort zones and require me to learn to trust Him on a whole new level.
It won't be easy. But it will be good, because He loves me.

I'm so thankful that God is sovereign, and that He loves me unconditionally and is constantly at work in me, no matter how much I mess up (that would be a lot.)
So I'm choosing to surrender this summer, to live like He's in charge--because He is.
     (And I would appreciate prayer if you think of me.)

For His glory,
Leah

I'm alive, really...

Wow, do I get some kind of reward for managing to not blog for over a month? :P

Let's see; a quick recap seems in order:
-All 3 of the Good News Clubs I was involved with are over for the year. Both Bible studies wrapped up this past week.
-We had our last Orientation for summer ministry last weekend, and training is in less than 3 weeks...a fact which is causing me a bit (okay, a lot) of panic...! (If you think of it, prayers would be appreciated...I have so much to do before camp...:-/)
-God is doing a lot in my life, as always. He is so faithful...
-I need to wrap this up...I know, I'm doing a terrible job of sharing anything substantial here...

At Orientation, one of our leaders closed with this passage of Scripture as our charge. I'll share it here, as it's been on my mind:

"I charge [you] in the presence of God and of Christ Jesus, Who is to judge the living and the dead, and by (in the light of) His coming and His kingdom:  Herald and preach the Word! Keep your sense of urgency [stand by, be at hand and ready], whether the opportunity seems to be favorable or unfavorable [Whether it is convenient or inconvenient, whether it is welcome or unwelcome, you as preacher of the Word are to show people in what way their lives are wrong.] And convince them, rebuking and correcting, warning and urging and encouraging them, being unflagging and inexhaustible in patience and teaching. For the time is coming when [people] will not tolerate (endure) sound and wholesome instruction, but, having ears itching [for something pleasing and gratifying], they will gather to themselves one teacher after another to a considerable number, chosen to satisfy their own liking and to foster the errors they hold, and will turn aside from hearing the truth and wander off into myths and man-made fictions. As for you, be calm and cool and steady, accept and suffer unflinchingly every hardship, do the work of an evangelist, fully perform all the duties of your ministry." -2 Timothy 4:1-5

What a sobering responsibility we have.
God, keep me focused as I prepare for this summer...instead of worrying and stressing out about all the things I have to finish, places I have to go, things I have to buy, help me to use this time wisely, to focus on making sure my heart is ready instead of only the lesser important things. 

For Him!

Leah

The Versatile Blogger Award

Thank you, Jocelyn, for nominating me! :)

                                                                              The rules:

1. In a post on your blog, nominate 4 fellow bloggers for the Versatile Blogger Award.

2. In the same post, add the Versatile Blogger Award.

3. In the same post, thank the person who nominated you with a link back to their blog.

4. In the same post, include 7 random pieces of information about you.

5. In the same post, include this set of rules.

6. Inform each nominated blogger with a comment on their blog 

 

 7 Random Facts About Myself: 

1. I write practically everything down--I'm a notorious tree-killer. Lists, quotes, notes to self. I journal regularly (or try to), and love my snail-mail pen pals. But when it comes to something 'public'--a blog post, essay, even sometimes a letter, I freeze up and struggle to express myself clearly.

2. Even though I'm 19, I still listen faithfully to the radio dramas from my childhood (AIO, etc.)

3. I'm pretty easily amused/entertained

4. I love family history...all history, actually.

5. I randomly check out soundtracks from old Broadway musicals that I've never even seen and listen to them so often I have many of them memorized. (I memorized the Fiddler on the Roof soundtrack a couple of years before I ever watched the movie!)

6. I love color, but my bedroom walls are a neutral creamy-white (by choice) because I'm so indecisive and couldn't pick a single color to stick with :P

7. My favorite animals tend to be farm animals--cows, chickens, ducks, goats, barn cats. :)

Well, there you have it. I'm not going to nominate anyone else.

Till next time! :)
-Leah