Friday, December 9, 2011

The Unedited Me

I’m staring at a blank page and realizing that it’s easy to get out of practice with this whole blogging thing…here is where I make my excuses give my reasons for the absence of posts around here:
  1. Blogger decided to go wonky on me and hasn’t been letting me post. I really did try to post something a few days ago, and Blogger promptly ignored it.
  2. That little thing called insecurity. *sigh*
I frequently wrestle with this issue, wondering why I can’t ever get it right. This has translated over to blogging, and (especially with siblings reading it) I’ve been shying away from writing anything personal/spiritual—anything that gives a tiny glimpse into what God’s been doing in my life—for fear of people who really knowing me reading and thinking “What a hypocrite—she doesn’t live this!”
And it’s true: God has chosen to pour out His grace on me and slowly chip away at the junk in my life, sanctifying me and changing me more into His likeness (I hope?) but I so often slip and fail…I so often disappoint. I so often make dumb choices. But I’m going to blog anyway, for now at least. These aren’t the writings of a perfect person who has it all together—not by a long shot; these are the scribblings of a young lady who is blessed beyond measure by a God who chooses to reveal more of Himself to her every day. So, this is a little picture of the unedited me.

Moving on, (I'm just making this post up as I go along...I'll probably come back and edit the "unedited me" later on ;) )

Life is so good, but really crazy right now: Christmas preparations (:D :D :D--not excited at all), a midterm exam looming in my near future, and lots of ministry. I've been kind of swept along with everything going on, and a verse read during my devotions yesterday really stood out to me: 

"Lord, make me to know my end and [to appreciate] the measure of my days--what it is; let me know and realize how frail I am [how transient is my stay here]. 
Behold, You have made my days as [short as] handbreadths, and my lifetime is nothing in Your sight. Truly every man at his best is merely a breath! Selah [pause and think calmly of that]!
Surely every man walks to and fro--like a shadow in a pantomime; surely for futility and emptiness he is in turmoil; each one heaps up riches, not knowing who will gather them. 
And now, Lord, what do I wait for and expect? My hope and expectation are in You."-Psalm 39:4-7 (Amplified)

The NIV starts out 'Teach me'.
Father, teach me to number my days. Show me how short my life really is--how precious time is, and how awful it really is to waste any of it. May I wake up every morning realizing the gift every moment is.

Well, there you have it. I'm off to make flashcards for the aforementioned midterm and listen to Christmas music.



  1. My dear Watson, the whole point of blogging about yourself/spiritual stuff is to help others learn the things you've learned by experience. We don't think you're a hypocrite! In fact, I feel so far behind you spiritually that it challenges me to grow more. :D

  2. You're very encouraging, my dear Holmes! But I don't think I am...I can be such a baby spiritually!

  3. Truly every man at his best is merely a breath! Selah! I agree with Joceyln Rose. Just think of all the Lord is showing you. At 60, I just felt lead to share the things He's taught me though not perfect or even different than the trials of everyone else, but the point is that He triumphs in us and we are more like Him. Ponder this: "Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God." 1 Cor. 1:3-4.Just make sure you give Him the praise!! *hugs*

  4. Thank you so much...that's my aim--to give Him the glory in everything, I just feel like I so often fail Him. Thank you for your encouragement, it's such a blessing!

  5. I wish blogger would alert you when someone comments on a post...
    We all are such babies spiritually, but you always seem to be eons ahead of me. We all have our special areas of dysfunction in our faith and our problems always seem bigger than everyone else's. *sigh*